Meet Bess as Captain Edmund Blackadder and James as Private Baldrick in Blackadder Goes Forth.
Bess as Captain Blackadder,
"Your brain, for example, is so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough inside to cover a small water biscuit."
"We've been sitting here since Christmas 1914, during which millions of men have died, and we've advanced no further than an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping."
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